theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
