she was so not down for the gang bang
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
