is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
someone owes me an orgasm
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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