I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
