He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Enjoy the penises
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
