Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im holly from the hills drunk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
