this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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