So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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