I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
