I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
