I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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