Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
