there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This baby is an asshole
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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