Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
