You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm both gender and math confused
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
