It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
