i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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