Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i drank out of a bidet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize