hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
