Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
