Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
