I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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