no, he came in my armpit
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
