Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
