My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
