I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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