I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
