i don't like sucking hair
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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