Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
