if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
