Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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