just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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