i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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