Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
