giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
