the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
