i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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