i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My ass is underappreciated
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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