Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
