I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My feet surprised me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
