Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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