There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
