is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
