This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
