Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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