Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
