We named our party play list daddy issues
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
