S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
