You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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