i would punch a child for taco bell
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
