Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
