it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
