you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize