not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
