if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
