Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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