she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
