whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
