Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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