maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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