That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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