I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
