its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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