That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize