the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Say something about gay babies.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
