Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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